meet the news goals: same as the old goals

Just seconds ago, my 2011 triathlon season came to an end.  I did not cross a physical finish line.  In fact, this came three weeks sooner than I had planned and budgeted for.  Yet, it came to an end nonetheless and came to an end the way it should, with joy for what I have accomplished, reflection upon the things I have yet to achieve, and excitement for what is next.

Here is how we got here, exactly.

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Three weeks ago I put together one of the best bike run combos of my training period.  Recovered with a decent run the next day.  Commented to my wife later that night that I felt better than I have ever felt.

A week later I couldn't walk.

In a way, its funny (but mostly just infuriating) how vulnerable we can be when we feel the strongest.  I did not do enough of some basic precautionary things that I [ EVERYONE!!! ] should do when preparing for such a massive event.  More stretching, more resting, more, um, core-ing?   My body fooled my mind.  And in turn my mind screwed my body.

I blame my mind.  I didn't let myself relax, enjoy the process, and be proud of the things I did / have done / was doing.  And so.  My mind and body were completely out of sync.

Thus the giant knot of nerves sitting somewhere in my right ass.  When life sets out to teach you a lesson, irony is it's best tool.

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By many measurements, I've had a ridiculously great year.  I am extremely sad about how this one ended.  But I have a lot to look forward too.

I have a newly learned love for yoga.  A reinvigorated passion for swimming, and swimming well.  I am committed to getting rid of one full day of biking/running/swimming in my training plans in the future for a day of yoga, stretching, core and mind health.  I won my first age group, then did it again.  I knocked 30 mins off my half-iron time -- and had enough in my training to knock another 15.  I've lost another 10 lbs.

My goal when I started the endurance event lifestyle was to lose weight and have fun.  The weight is gone.  Time to bring back the fun. If that means hot yoga and green tea, then judge me all you want.  I'll be too motherfuckin' zen to notice. Bitches*.

*That may or may not be how zen works.  I still got a lot of shit to learn.

Just for you: Clarity from Red Sox Nation, where ever that may be

Just for you -- internet curiosities that make the world a better place.

Here is word from Michael Schur, the voice behind Ken Tremendous of Partridge, KS.  It is clear.  It is sound. It's what we have come to expect, and it makes me feel small.

The Collapse of the Red Sox: The Bad Old Days are Here Again

Here's the opening greatness.  After going through a few questions as to what this whole scene looks like if the Red Sox win just two more games, he arrives at --

We know the answer, actually. Bob Hohler's Boston Globe article probably isn't written, or if it is, it's one-fifth as long and entirely ignored, because: Who cares? 

Damn fucking straight, who cares.  I'll tell you who fucking care, the Ghostfaces who want their ghosts back.  Fuck WAR and VORP, y'all. GHOSTS!  That's the shit that kept us from winning.

Sigh.

Here is some evidence that the bad old days are here again.  People in and around Boston are calling for the trade of Jon Lester.

Jon. Lester.  Let's forget, for the moment, that trading this guy runs counter to the popular narrative  (he beat cancer, he's a hero vs. trade him, he likes video games. You can't have it both ways, folks).

Jon Lester is signed through 2013 at 5 years $30M, with a 2014 club option.  The next 3yrs years look like this:

12:$7.625M, 13:$11.625M, 14:$13M club option 

Cliff Lee is signed at 5/$120M, his next 3 yrs:


 12:$21.5M, 13:$25M, 14:$25M

You can wander over fangraphs and see that Lee has been worth about a win or two more a year since 2008, and that is no small thing.  But he is also 6 years older than Jon Lester.

My point? Stop being assholes!

boycotts

You should probably only try to boycott things that matter.  Here is a quick spectrum:

10! -- Not letting black folks ride busses like "regular folks" -- [Totally worth a boycott]
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7 -- Women making about $0.75 to every man's $1, for equal positions -- [Probably worth more, but, you know this is pretty much every company.  Who ya gunna boycott? A man's gotta eat.]
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5 -- Arrested Development not on air. Two and Half Men on air. --  [I never, EVER watch CBS, 'cept for SEC football]
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1 -- Boycotts aimed around silly teenage style dick jokes. -- [Actually, works as a reverse boycott in which your silly protestations actually HELP drive the companies marketing. "Look, kids! Conservative church ladies don't like it!?! Aren't we naughty?"]

Congrats on brilliant marketing, unilever.  I haven't bought your crappy ice cream in years.  I will now.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/09/21/140662704/stop-schweddy-balls-effort-begins

welcome to the internet

once upon a time a man with peculiar tastes, such as my own, was an island unto himself.  now, thanks to the internet, a man can join his brethren in the positively insane.

voila!

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers

Family Time

5 things that probably SHOULDN'T come in "family size" packaging

1. Tampons
2. Petroleum Jelly
3. Clearasil
4. Oreos
5. Flunitrazepam

Advice For NY -- Living your best life in the big shitty

* If you own a vehicle that makes noise when you back up, you need to be less cavalier about backing up.

* Once upon a time, the mayor proposed a car alarm ban in NYC.  I didn't think this was quite right.  Rather than criminalize car alarms, I felt he should simply DE-criminalize taking baseball bats to cars with car alarms.

* Seriously, you smell.  None of your friends has the heart to say it.  But you do.

* Just the thought of trying to orchestrate some travel outside your borders gave me stress.  I canceled said travel as a result.  You should think about being less needy.

taxes.

I know you've heard otherwise.  But taxes.  Really pretty low.

1930 - 1980

Historical marginal income tax rates for Married Filing Jointly at stated income levels.^[3]

Year	$10,001	$20,001	$60,001	$100,001	$250,001
1930	6%	10%	21%	25%	25%
1932	10%	16%	36%	56%	58%
1934	11%	19%	37%	56%	58%
1936	11%	19%	39%	62%	68%
1938	11%	19%	39%	62%	68%
1940	14%	28%	51%	62%	68%
1942	38%	55%	75%	85%	88%
1944	41%	59%	81%	92%	94%
1946	38%	56%	78%	89%	91%
1948	38%	56%	78%	89%	91%
1950	38%	56%	78%	89%	91%
1952	42%	62%	80%	90%	92%
1954	38%	56%	78%	89%	91%
1956	26%	38%	62%	75%	89%
1958	26%	38%	62%	75%	89%
1960	26%	38%	62%	75%	89%
1962	26%	38%	62%	75%	89%
1964	23%	34%	56%	66%	76%
1966 - 1976	22%	32%	53%	62%	70%
1980	18%	24%	54%	59%	70%

[edit]

And --

Year 2011 income brackets and tax rates

Marginal Tax Rate[6]	Single	Married Filing Jointly or Qualified Widow(er)	Married Filing Separately	Head of Household
10%	$0 – $8,500	$0 – $17,000	$0 – $8,500	$0 – $12,150
15%	$8,501 – $34,500	$17,001 – $69,000	$8,501 – $34,500	$12,150 – $46,250
25%	$34,501 – $83,600	$69,001 – $139,350	$34,501 – $69,675	$46,250 – $119,400
28%	$83,601 – $174,400	$139,351 – $212,300	$69,675 – $106,150	$119,401 – $193,350
33%	$174,401 – $379,150	$212,301 – $379,150	$106,151 – $189,575	$193,350 - $379,150
35%	$379,151+	$379,651+	$189,576+	$379,151+

how do you make money?

Mike Lupica is famous.  The NY Daily News pays him money to write about Yankees baseball.

He turns things like this out --

So Cashman, who has given Yankee fans Sabathia in the last 10 years and a lot of guys named Burnett and Kevin Brown and Randy Johnson and Javy (Grand Slam) Vazquez and Jaret Wright - guys who make you stand and cheer when they're NOT giving up five runs a game - talked about re-arming the Yankees, you bet. What he really meant that night when he talked about pitching was Cliff Lee, whom he was supposed to money-whip into coming to New York.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/yankees/2011/08/28/2011-08-28_yankees_fans_have_gm_brian_cashman_to_blame_for_giving_them_aj_burnett_and_his_s.html#ixzz1WR3mjCcK

 1. Cashman has given Yankee fans a lot of guys named ...

Um.  By my math he has only given Yankee fans one each of these guys, respectively.

2. Guys who make you cheer when they're NOT giving up five runs a game.

Once again. UM! Who the fuck cheers WHEN anyone is giving up five runs a game?

3.  The Yankee pitching staff is amazingly awesome.  It's strange, but very true.  They have given up only 525 runs.  They play the Red Sox, who have scored the second most runs in baseball this season, 19 times.  This is the 5th best clip in the league.  Also keep in mind that they score an insane amount of runs; the best in the league, in fact.

Sigh.  This is entirely too common.  That some dip-shit can rant and rail that something is so, when it is is actually very different.

I just wish we stopped paying them money and attention. NotGraphs does an amazing job at reducing foolish writing into glib sentences.  You should read them and make THEM famous and pay THEM money.